Alhamdulilah, Im Pregnant.
1:30:00 PM
Hallo
!
At the end of the
day, i decided something about this blog. (like its so important ! :p)
After a very very
long break, i decided to just write what i want in time. No schedule, no
timeline. So expect the time jump when you scroll down my blog okay? Haha
Actually what i
really want to write is about a huge turning point in my life, which
is...married. But since another turning point is hit me, i find my self more
likely to write about this first. And its about....pregnancy.
I’m 7 and half months pregnant
people !!
So...whats up about
that?
Okay...i actually
want this baby ever since I get
married, thats why i started to drink Prenagen Emesis and
stoped chemical skin care product. Why in a rush? Nothing actually, just like
marriage, i just could find a reason to delay it. But as a bonus, in my working
fields,
moving one to another city is so common. Thats why...right now, when we’re
living in the same house, and close to my parents and family..it feels like a
perfect time to have a baby.
But yet again, it’s
a human
plan. At my first period its like “babe, its not this month” and we’re smiling
then go hiking. Second period, “Babe...not this month too” still smiling. Third
period “Im sorry, but im still not pregnant” and i was crying. I dont know its
in between sad and afraid. So many what if ringing in my head.
One day, a huge
thing happen, no...im not pregnant yet. Something happen and remind me why
God’s plan is always better, turn out that im not mentally ready for it. Me and
my crying baby habits are not ready to handle a big responsibiity. After that...i
just let God decide for everything, still trying but no more high expectation. A
big salute to my husband who did so many research and applying a healthy
lifestyle while all i did was just...eating bean sprouts, drinking avocado
juice, running once a week, taking vit A and saying yes when my husband took me out for some refreshing in
Bogor.
Well..Every woman
knows when she had PMS means that soon..she’s going to get periods. So when i felt
cramps in my belly, i cried and said “hon, i dont think im pregnant.” He hugged
me and saying so many wise thing like..”maybe we should date again” or “maybe
we still have to prepare things”. Though i said i’ve done having high
expectation but when periods hit again..i cant help being sad and afraid.
Afraid that i have to wait three years like my mom, afraid that maybe
somethings wrong with me (tho i did pre-marriage test, this kind of thought
still exist !), yaa...you know, PMS can really make everything seems worst.
And one day..my
office held a costum day. Every woman dressed in kebaya to celebrate Indonesian
Independence day. I was so excited that i even went to some kebaya rental in
search for a perfect one. But when i woke up in the morning, everything seems
so wrong. I feel sick and couldn’t go to the office.
When i went to the
doctor he said that i need to take a lab if after three days my fever dont go
away. He’s afraid that I’m might
be having DBD or typhus. On the third day I actually felt so much better so we
went to Cianjur for some one-day trip as my husband’s sister, Prina, came to
visit us.
On the next day, My husband insist on having me checked up again, but
since Prina got sick. I went to the doctor and to the lab alone. So..when the
lab officer told me. “Bu ngga tipes kok, hamil malah”..i just
sat there freezing…and crying alone too. It felt so unreal, so….dreamlike. Some
lab officer and visitor then congratulated me and saying “Duh, jadi ikut terharu”
My heart beating so hard as I drove to see my husband. He asked me
“whats wrong?” when he saw me that weirdly in rush.
“ Mas, im pregnant”.
“Alhamdulillah..”
And we’re hugged each other on emergency room, like there’s no nurse or
doctor around. Sometimes they said it right, the whole world is gone when
you’re in love.
Yes, even before everything else happen, we’re already in love with this
child.
P.S. Story about my preganancy will be posted soon !
Love,
Soon-to-be-Mama
I rearrage the timeline.
thi post originally written at february, 25th 2016
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